I Love You, Sissy.

It is hard to believe today marks a year since my sister’s passing. Time is funny, isn’t it? How it can feel both incredibly fast and incredibly slow at the same time. How somehow it can feel like my sister’s passing just happened yesterday because the memory is still so raw and real, and yet, it also feels like a lot of time has passed. Maybe part of what is really messing with my timeframe is that thanks to Covid we just held my sister’s memorial about a week and a half ago. It was a really beautiful service remembering my sister and honoring God. 

I personally loved that my sister’s childhood best friend, my older cousin, and myself all shared memories that almost intertwined and we all considered her a sister (well, she of course was mine). It really had me reflecting on the importance of relationships and friendships. When we can get so close to someone that we consider them more like family than just a friend. Sometimes that person is only a part of our life for a season, but that doesn’t take away the intense emotions, love, and respect that we have for that person and how they impacted our lives at any given time in our lives. 

My sister had a huge impact on the first 20 or so years of my life. Some of the most formative years. She was older so she often paved the way for me. She was set as an example for me whether or not she wanted to be one. I was able to learn from her successes and mistakes just by being younger. I was able to ask for her advice and hear her opinions, even though sometimes I hated it. There are a lot of benefits to being the younger sibling, especially when your older sibling lets you be so involved in their life. 

To this day, I still remember dropping my sister off at college. The first memory is getting on the elevator with my family and someone else asking me if I was the one starting school and this really irritated my sister lol. I have memories of helping set up her dorm room, and another one of those memories that almost feels like yesterday is getting in the car and driving away. I felt like a piece of me was missing. I felt alone and sad that I wasn’t going to have her around at home. 

These are the kinds of friends and relationships that are life-changing and leave lasting impacts. The ones that hurt when you stop being so close. The ones that you reflect on later and can still say, I love that person because of the way they changed my life, even though I don’t see or talk to them now. I am so incredibly thankful that I had that kind of relationship with my sister. That I have so many good memories to reflect on and remember her by. 

While it is sad that I won’t have any new memories with my sister to add to the memory bank, I hope to continue making memories with her two boys. And, today I will reflect on the way she loved me well for so many years. I love you, Sissy.

A few weeks after my sister passed, I wrote a blog sharing memories of her. If you were unable to attend her memorial and would like to listen, please message me directly for the link. Thank you.